Dizzy Bat Arrives in Europe!

The Finnish men's national volleyball team won their last six matches of the season in spectacular fashion in the World League. The last two matches were on their home court where they miraculously defeated the pool-leading Brazilian national team… twice! This series of events not only catapulted Finland into the playoffs, but enabled them to achieve a tie and to break it in dramatic fashion. 

Finnish head coach, Mauro Berruto, claimed that he never seen a chain of events quite like this before in his illustrious 26 year coaching career. He is referring to the following series of events:
Finland wins six straight matches.
Defeats Brazil in the last two matches which were crucial “must-win” showdowns.
Win/loss and head to head records, as well as point differential with Brazil, were all exactly the same!
The World League forgoes a coin toss and decides that they will follow the American precedence of resolving ties with a “dizzy bat” race.

The diminutive third string setter for the Finnish team, Marko SIIVONEN, was elected as the “closer” of the relay race due to his inability to drink. Marko is a constant sufferer from bed spins from always trying to keep up with the larger middle hitters on a “shot-for-shot” basis. His ability to find the bathroom… everytime… while his equilibrium is in a state of confusion, is what earned him the prestigious anchor position.

With the mounting pressure of Marko’s near heroic nocturnal bathroom adventures and the fact that the Finnish team was trailing the Brazilians by what seemed an insurmountable 3.2 seconds, Marko’s heartbeat began to race furiously as he was about to be tagged for his anchor run. As he spun the to the chorus of the both the judge and his teammates, “one… two… three… four… five…,” he began to experience his bed spin “high.” “Eight…. Nine… TEN!” Marko was off like a shot. The anchor spinner of the Brazilian team was ahead of him already at the bat at the opposite end of the course doing his second set of spins. With a slight stagger, Marko immediately corrected his course and darted to his bat at the other end. Once there he spun with furious abandon. At the call of “ten” he raised his head… steadied himself… and located the finish line back at the end from which he just came. As he started off he noticed the Brazilian power hitter ahead of him and for a second felt the doom of letting down his teammates. But in a flash he spied the Brazilian's erratic course out of the corner of his eye. The Brazilian stumbled, went airborne, and then collided into the bleachers… head first. Marko won with ease.

Finland went on to win the championship. Brazil was demoralized and didn't make it past the quarterfinals.

Mauro Berruto has brought to Finnish volleyball a very systematic, thorough approach to training, utilizing top-of-the-line training techniques and modern technology. He was very satisfied with the success this season… and even Marko. Although the his dizzy bat prowess has has not improved any real volleyball skillset of his, and he still remains as the third string setter… he is no longer made fun of for not keeping up with the heavy drinking middle hitters.