Hello Everyone!
Today I’m sitting here with volleyball veteran extraordinaire and Fire Island enthusiast, Gregg Weisser!
If any of you recall the last time we did this segment was about six years ago when I interviewed Mr. Altman. It was during this landmark conversation, that Jeff first confessed to the fact that many people easily confused him with Keanu Reeves. He had even begun to adopt Keanu’s slow… deliberate… and… monotone… way… of… speaking.
Today we focus on Mr. Weisser, a volleyball giant in his day who coined the favorite game-time slogan of, “feed the bear!” Gregg was a dominant middle hitter/blocker! This was especially frustrating for his opponents due to the fact that his feet never really left the floor. It is with that and his entrepreneurial mindset that his earned him the spot on the cover of the launch issue of the Fire Island Magazine, “Living the Good Life!”
We begin the interview just after Gregg climbs out of his $7.5 thousand palladium lined hot tub. He slips on a silky powder blue robe, and then lights a cigar. He sits across from me in his elegant Monte Carlo Club chair with the cigar in his right hand and a glass of 62 year old port in his left. He takes a slow sip… savors it. Smiles… we begin.
"Hello Gregg!"
"Hi Todd."
"So Gregg, you’re on the cover of Fire Island’s “Living the Good Life,” pretty impressive."
"Well Todd… I’ve always said… Life is a canvas… and you paint the picture."
"I see… painting… canvas… So… the house looks great, and you look well… but what everyone wants to know, how did you do it? You’ve retired from work and from the world of competitive volleyball all within the same year. How?"
"Todd… life is like a mirror… you frown… it frowns back… you smile… it returns the greeting. Oh, I play some volleyball around here on the beach… pretty much beat up on the local competition these days. They still haven’t figured out how to play the wind. I relax now that I’ve made my fortune… you know slow down… smell the daisies."
"You mean roses?"
"No daisies. I just planted a bunch of them behind you on the side of the house."
"Right… but Gregg… the question… how did you do it?"
"Todd… life changes around every curve of the Shoprite food store… that the hen doesn’t always get the early bird with the juiciest slug… nor is life predictable… just like the seasons. Todd, this is primetime… life is in session… and there is no rerun."
I lean back in my chair, not quite sure as to what I just heard really meant. Gregg leans forward and whispers, “Porto-pottys.”
"What?"
"Imagine this… you’re being chased by a couple “Soprano” type individuals. There is a porto-potty just ahead. You jump in it in an effort to hide from them. But at the end, all they do is open the door and you’re caught. Done. Finished."
"I’m not following you."
"That’s the problem with the porto-potty… the entrance and exit is the same door! My idea that has taken off… and will revolutionize the porto-potty, is the “porto-potty” escape door."
"You're saying that you’ve invented a porto-potty with two doors?"
"No... one main door, and one escape door. The prototypical model has a few bugs… the escape door has the locking device on the outside, which doesn’t really work in escape-like situations, not to mention the obvious that people can easily walk in on you while doing your business… but we can easily fix that."
"That’s great news… well that seems to be all the time we have today… thanks Gregg… it was a pleasure."
"No problem… keep up the good work with those “Queens and Princes” tournaments… and remember, life is too short as to waste time uselessly."
"I agree… I think."
"For me… life is a breeze… for others… it is one head wind after another. Todd, you be a breeze… okay."
"Sure… will do… like the seeds of a dandelion... I'll blow with the wind... thanks."
